last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Randomize
