am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
