you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
the liver wants what the liver wants
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Randomize
