Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Randomize
