After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
