how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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