I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
