its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
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