Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
