All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
