that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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