I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
