I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
