Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
