I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
