I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Randomize
