went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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