I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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