Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
