My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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