Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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