Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
