i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
