party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
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