Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
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