You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize
