I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I would ride that face into the sunset
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
