mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
