you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
