Where is the hickey?
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
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