I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
