he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
