Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
