You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
BRING THE BAGELS
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
