You work out of a Hotel?
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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