Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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