we have pet lesbian snakes
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
