i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Randomize