hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
