how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
