So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize