I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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