At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
