why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
