toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
