then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
