Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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