We're facebook friends in real life
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
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