I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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