i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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