You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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