Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I touched a dick in church today
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
