Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
