Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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