I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
