We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
