I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Randomize
