i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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