her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
