i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Randomize
