In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
She is in my trunk
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
