Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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